Here it is, well over 2 months since I've been here. Sorry...
Here's the deal. It's not that I cannot multi-task--well, at least multi-task life's daily minutia--THAT I can do; like an Ed Sullivan plate spinning-sword-swallowing-torch/chain saw/glassware/dull axe/apple eating juggler. That I can do. AND to music! (Cue: "The Sabre Dance")
What trips me up is trying to di-vide my attention. My FULL attention to details. I absolutely stink at dividing my attention.
This is one of my personal double edged swords; it cuts surgically to bring life when I can CREATE something; it hacks things to pieces when I FLAIL at things.
Failing is fine. Those are teachable moments. But when you want to CRAFT something, breathe life into it, and see it be able to stand on it's own and then BE LIFE to others--failing ain't so grand.
I don't mind failing. Privately or publicly. Both are positions of learning. I've learned more with my face in the mud than I have with my face in the sun.
What I don't like is involving someone else in my...my...my machinations of creating or moving forward with a still yet unformed idea. I don't want them hurt.
I don't want someone to be trying to follow me while I'm going through my disconnected, frenetic movements of birthing an idea. It can be more gross and much longer than the act of giving birth, and definitely more hazardous to those standing close to me.
Plus, it just flat pisses people off. That, I can do without.
So here I am, months later, trying to explain why I haven't been here. Thankfully, my TWO faithful readers, they already know this about me...and still love me.
When I finally get my first book finished, y'all know you will be first on my dedication page!
And to the others who check in secretly...thank you, too.
It'll pay off. One of these days.
Just keep hiding in the bushes and watching...with patience...and snacks.
